Boundry Lines

Rising up out of the ditch.

That is what I have been trying to do for the past two days. Don't ask me how I got here. I still don't know. But for a long time I was having a terrible time trying to draw close to my Lord. I was miserable inside, for too long. I tend to feel as though my relationship with the Lord is like a rollercoaster and let me just tell you, I hate rollercoasters. My thought process is something like, "If I'm feeling good and doing good, then I must be good. (In the Lord's eyes)". Subsequently, if I'm feeling bad, and doing bad, or sin, then I'm just the baddest of the bad girls. This makes for a pretty miserable walk and I am so tired of it. Often though, I feel like I am too much "In My Head."

So two days ago I forced myself to read my Bible. Really read it and I have come to realize this, I love boundaries. Inside I am always wanting to know what's right with the Lord. "God am I following you?" Is the question I ask myself time and time again. This time is no different. And here is what I read....

1 John 1:9

If we freely admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to his own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought and action.]

and continuing in 1 John 2:1

My little children, I write you these things so that you may not sin. But if anyone should sin, we have an Advocate (One who will intercede for us) with the Father- [it is] Jesus Christ [the all] righteous. And He (Jesus) is the propitiation (atoning sacrifice) for our sins and not for ours alone but also for the sins of the whole world. (Amplified)

The title of the post is Boundary Lines. What does this have to do with Boundaries? Jesus is my boundary. When I cross the line, He will pull me back if I am willing to look. And then I love this in verse 3...

"And this is how we may discern [daily, by experience] that we are coming to know Him [to perceive,recognize, understand and become better acquainted with Him]: if we keep (bear in mind, observe, practice) His teachings (precepts, commandments).

God help me. There is a reason why this scripture starts out as "My little children". It is because children need boundary lines. They need them to know what is right and how to live and conductive themselves. We are no different.

I realize that when I feel "bound" it is because I don't know my boundary lines, or I have simply forgotten them. So, God is faithful in His word to straighten me out.

"God help me to keep my head out of the sand and in your Word, so that I may think right and think straight and not give a hold to condemnation. Thank you Jesus."

Out of Words

Hello?
Are you still there Lord?
Can you hear me?
I'm the one in the corner who has stopped talking.
I don't know why and I don't know how to start again.

(sniff) I'm sorry....