Saturated

Saturate-to soak thoroughly: to treat or charge with something to the point where no more can be absorbed, dissolved or retained.

In essence, I suppose you could say that to saturate something is to completely make full. So full, that there is no more room for anything else to get in.

Question to self: Am I saturated in the Lord? Am I so full of Your love that there is no more room for anything else to penetrate my soul? Or if something else tries to penetrate my mind, will and emotions, am I so full in desiring you that whatever the "else" is that wants my attention, or attempts to temp me can't get in because there is no room to receive it?
Someone gave this analogy once..."Imagine you are at a Thanksgiving dinner and you ate everything to your hears content. From appetizer to dessert you ate all you could. Then you go to visit at someone else's house on the way home and they serve you the most delicious desserts that you love, but even the sight of it is too much because you are so full already. You will not eat anymore."

Well Lord I wonder, why am I not more this way with you. It seems that I always have a little bit room for something "extra". A little extra sin, or sometimes a full darn serving is what I reach for it seems. I don not want to be this way. I want to be so saturated with you that there is no room for anything else...even when tempted.

Even now, if I focus on myself while desiring you, I'll still be focusing on fixing me! Help me abandon myself in you. Desiring to be so full of You so that there is no room anything else, except focusing on You and what you want...
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself."

Honesty to You

Father-

I read Matthew 6:33 saying....
"Seek first God's Kingdom and what God wants. Then all your other needs will be met."
Wow. Lord , I read this to myself and I see how even in this simple Saturday, I seek for myself. What I want. Then I read these words of yours and realize how easy I flip-flop my life to try and serve my needs. My thoughts always run so far ahead of me without giving any heed to considering yours. God forgive me. Lord, in this life I feel like I desire so much and receive so little. And yet, you are always there. Are you not always waiting to show me something new and exciting? Yet here I am in earthly time, always wanting and longing for more. Are you not "more than enough for me"(? )Like that song says. I sing those lyrics from Hill-Song. But do I believe it? Do I believe you? DO I believe that your words are true? Did you not say that when you came back you would be looking to find people who had faith in you?

I feel the battle between flesh and spirit everyday, Lord. The battle over laziness, the battle over fear of man. The battle over Lust. The battle over depression and self pity....seems at times, exhausting day in and day out. Where is my reprieve?
"Where does my help come from? My help come from THE LORD! The maker of heaven and earth." But do I go to you for my help? It seems so often not. I'm not sure why Lord. How stupid. Did you not say that "My people perish for lack of knowledge." Lack of knowledge of God! and it's not your fault that I wollow in the mire of my own mess. Thoughts, feelings, circumstances and Blah Blah Blah.................... Help me Father to draw closer to you. To desire you more. Even now.

Narrow

I have a feeling that the "narrow road" is actually more narrow than I thought.