A Simple Word that Packs a Punch. Forgiveness.

There is a lot to be said for this little word, Forgiveness.
It sounds like such an easy thing to do. An easy thing to say. "I forgive you." Right?
Hmmmm...I kid myself to say yes. Especially when I'm hopping mad and I feel I have the right to be. Awhile ago, I experienced something of the sort. And I was so angry I just wanted to blast the person. But at least my reaction has changed over the years from blurting out exactly how I feel to taking the time to think things through and see what I need to do about myself before approaching the other person.

"Forgive them, Colleen." My friend said. "The first thing you need to do is forgive them in your heart." I knew she was right. No matter how justified I felt in my anger, I knew that I would not be justified before the Lord. How many times are we to forgive? "Seventy times seven." Jesus said. And then I thought of all the times I have come to the Lord and needed to ask for his forgiveness and grace and mercy ...too many to count and He forgives me every time. How then, dare I hold my anger over someones head? I cannot.

But I also knew that I was still so mad in my feelings, that I needed Him to give me the grace in order to forgive, because I just didn't have it in my own strength. So after mediating for awhile on this and His mercy and forgiveness over me in my life, I knew He would help me to let go. But for some reason, it wasn't enough to just confess it in my head. I had to say it out loud to myself so that my own ears heard it.

So I did it. I said it out loud to myself and meant it. Then didn't think much more about it. But I realized awhile later that the weight that was sitting on me had disappeared. There was no weight any more. Only peace. Peace in my soul and my flesh was shut up and had nothing to complain about.

Could I have done this on my own and meant it? No. If there's one thing I've learned about myself it's that my love for people runs out. But His love never does and when I drink from His well, there is always enough love to go around. His Love is powerful and I'm so glad that I can have it too.

Matthew 6:14 "Yes, if you forgive others for their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you for your sins. But if you do not forgive others, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins." --Jesus

Rock Steady

I love that phrase. I know it's from an Aretha Franklin song but here's the juicy on that. (In my opinion) Nothing makes me wanna Rock Steady on life more than, not just knowing Jesus, but knowing that He's crazy abut me. ME! (And I know me...and I often feel like "Woah is me.")
I still can't grasp this. I don't think I ever will until I meet Him. But today, I feel like I got some revelation about something that I was actually praying for the opposite of. Nevertheless found myself reading in His Word a Truth that set me free. All I can say is that finding oneself content in Him has got to be one of the greatest blessings outside of Salvation. He IS my Rock that keeps me Steady. Rock On.

Psalm 19:14 "I hope my words and thoughts please you. Lord, you are my Rock, the one who saves me."

How will I know?

Something that truly concerns me...
My roommate was raised on a farm. She said once that if you were to look at just the face of a sheep and the face of a goat they are really quite similar. This got me thinking about the time I stayed on a friends farm. I went out into the fields to walk them alone and found myself wondering the difference between which were wheat and which were tares. It was hard to tell.

I have times where I sense an urgency within myself about something and I'm not quite sure what it is, but I know that it's a spiritual urgency. I have for the first time this year begun to ask myself a scary question. "How do I know if I am a sheep or a goat?" "How do I know that I am a wheat and not a tare?" How do we know these things if they are so similar? How do I really know if I really love God for the right reasons?

My brain feels so cramped by these thoughts, that I don't think I can write more on this subject...at least not yet, but one thing is for sure, I must pursue the answer.